Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
