doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He better not be in your backpack
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
