My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
