i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
