that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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