just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
