Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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