Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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