i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
