Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
