dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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