....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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