i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
