guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
