Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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