I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
