I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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