Got a toothbrush?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
