They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
