You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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