pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
and you fell through a lawn chair
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
