I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
