I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
