You made me cry and you don't even care
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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