ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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