If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you still have your period?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
