Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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