Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
