Do vagina's smell?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
