we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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