dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
