All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
