am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
