So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
