Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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