It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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