Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize