just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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