I'm going to jail i love you
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize