Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
