did you get engaged???
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
