well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
