I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
