I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
