These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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