every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
