if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
