Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
