How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
