feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
