i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
