The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
