I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
