Quick, to the slutcave!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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