At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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