Whod you bang
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
