I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
