two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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