so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We left an ass print on the piano.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
