wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
honey bunches of taint.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
